Archive for March, 2010

Yeah, I’m probably gloating

March 31, 2010

But it’s 70 degrees out, and I’m getting paid to sit on my deck and write code.

It’s a little hard to squint at the screen but I think I’ll muddle through.

Conversations and Pop Culture

March 29, 2010

I’ve thought about writing this for a long time. I’m just going to try and get some thoughts down.

I am frustrated that conversations among friends seem to only be about sports or movies or TV. I originally wrote the previous sentence beginning with “I hate that…” but that is an Untruthitude. I have started just as many discussions about Brett Favre or Joss Whedon as I have asked questions about someone’s life. (If I’m honest, I would guess I’ve started far more conversations about sports or pop culture than I’ve asked real questions). Clearly, I don’t hate it. I enjoy the self-satisfied glow that comes from talking shared experiences–and that’s what sports and movies and tv and music are these days-shared experiences that you have separately but still together. It’s a way to have something in common without actually spending time together.

“What do I really want?”, you ask. (or, more likely, you ask “There’s still several hundred words beyond this?”) I want something real, something authentic. What I mean by that is I want to know my friends beyond their taste in movies and sports perspective. I want to know them and I want to be known myself. That sounds a bit creepy. Or somehow not “manly”. (as opposed to the rest of my life, where I am the Epitome of Manliness.)
I don’t know how else to explain it. I want to have relationships with people where our joy and struggles and ideas and plans are shared and discussed and dissected. I want to have peers I can go to for advice and for prayer. Obviously, my wife and I have this with each other. The problem, it could be argued, is we moved away from our friends; I’m not unaware of the irony. But these are feelings I felt just as strongly when I saw decade-long friends on a weekly basis. But I was too afraid to say anything. Don’t want to be the weird one.

The problem I have is I don’t know how to get around it.

The problem is I am a constant in these conversations.

The problem is I like thinking about pop culture. After most every episode of a current show I watch, I will check the updates on the AV Club’s page, somehow wanting and needing to take apart what I just saw. (what happened to just enjoying something for what it is? Is it a generational obsession to deconstruct? Furthermore, when I expand to a generational obsession, am I really just trying to take what I feel and plaster it farther? Furthermore, when I continue to ask questions, do I simply become paralyzed? Yes.)

In reality, the answer is simple; I have to take the risk. If I really want to know and share and be shared back with, I have to take the first step. It helps to have zero knowledge of March Madness this time of year; I can cut those conversations off at the pass. (“Can you believe West Virigina made it this round?” “Not a clue. So, how’s your relationship with your wife?”)

The problem with asking questions that you already know the answers to is, well, you already know the answer.

Spring is here

March 28, 2010

I’ve tried to not get allow myself to get excited. “We get more snow in March than any other month.” “It’ll get cold again.” And so on.

But I think we’re in the clear.

I’ve taken the plastic off of our deck door and moved the grill up to its rightful place on the deck outside the kitchen. There’s still plastic on the windows downstairs, but I don’t think for long. Naturally, by writing this, I have doomed us to a weeklong blizzard. Hopefully not. The Blue Albatross (as I have not-so-affectionately named the truck) is no longer stuck in the snow as the snow has all melted…but it doesn’t drive any more at all. Not stuck in 2WD, just no go. Oh sure, it starts fine, but a truck that sits and rumbles isn’t nearly as useful as a truck that drives. Put it on the list.

Seed ordering season is upon us. We have our eye on various tomatoes, arugula, sweet potatoes, peppers, and even some grapes. We are debating some blueberries as well. The seed catalogs are famous for their false promises. I try not to get sucked in. But then I stand outside, smell the hint of the warming earth, and I can’t help but picture a giant sweet growing garden (that somehow weeds and waters itself).

In other news: my baby girl is 5 months old today.